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Dating has been a real struggle for me lately. I have no shame in admitting that most my dates come from apps like Tinder and Bumble. Maybe not the smartest way to date, but for someone who works from home and travels a lot, it feels like the best option for me. Plus, I have no game so this works well.

The last several months I have been really struggling with dating. Not in getting dates, but enjoying dates. Every time, the second the date begins, the only thought in my head is “I wish this was Stephanie”. That’s my ex-girlfriend I write so much about. How fucked up is that? I can’t even enjoy the company of another woman without wishing it was someone else. It made me feel fucking terrible for her. There was no shot of this working out. I am always a gentleman and treat her with the utmost respect, I just don’t prefer to see her again after that first date. It kind of makes me sad a bit like a piece of shit.

The women I went on a date with tonight was great. We had sushi, which for me, is kind of a deal breaker. If you don’t like sushi, I’m not sure there is much for us. Judge if you want, but I love that shit and I want you to love that shit.

She was funny, open, not afraid to tell me the quirky shit she does. I love a woman that are confident in who they are. It shows me a lot about how they feel about themselves. She kept telling me she has this crazy laugh that will probably scare me away when I hear it, which I thought was adorable that she’s open to admitting something like that rather than sheltering it.

Most importantly, she was extremely polite to the waitress. Fuck, this is honestly the most important thing to me. If you’re shitty to the staff, best believe there is no shot of a future with us.

And she loves wine! I love wine. We all love wine! I’m not much of a partier, by not much, I mean I hate that shit now. It drains me. Takes me 3 days to recover from a hangover. I don’t get shit done. I can’t workout. I eat like shit after. My life basically falls apart after a night of drinking. So I love a partner that can have some wine with me, chill out and nerd the fuck out.

By nerd out, I mean I love documentaries. I could watch them all day and I love someone who can enjoy them with me. Documentaries are fascinating as they feel like you’re really opening up to things maybe you’d never read about or take the time to learn about but find it enjoyable to watch 90 minutes of. Plus, watching something like Bobs Burgers makes me feel like an idiot and want to blow my brains out. Much of TV I feel is arguably the downfall of mankind. But, HBO has a documentary out about Warren Buffet. OMG. Check that shit out. He’s the fucking man in every way I can aspire to be and will most likely only grasp the sheer hope of becoming.

I’m really hoping this means I’m finally over Stephanie. I had the dream about being murdered which felt like something emotional leaving my body and now actually being able to go on a date without once thinking of her. I think I’m on the up and up and I’m really excited for this new journey.